“I swear she’s so french- it’s written on her face at this point” – J. Henry, student at york university

Lu wang said in Transnationalism and identity, a tale of Two faces and multiple lives :

“I find I am becoming increasingly more “Chinese” than I was in China”

I guess it makes sense, people need a sense of belonging, it is indeed comforting as one can feel supported and appreciated by a whole group of people, I can relate, I am the one who felt euphoric when I heard French people talking in the subway, it felt like home.

Being a foreign, the feeling of not belonging

Being honest, I still feel that uncomfortable feeling of not being part of the society, people here would talk about habits, joke about core memories about their childhood in Canada in which i do not relate, having everyday issues in the countries in which I could not connect less. It does, ultimately, on the other hand, reinforce my sentiment of nostalgia, of feeling like I am not in my home country.

I would also add that feeling of frustation that I feel every time I want to participate actively in a conversation, I am confronted with my lack of vocabulary, empeching me of truly expressing myself. It does ultimately undermine my true personnality. I found this video truly explained how I feel when that happens

My apprenticeship and the creation of a “pseudo identity”

I could also mention the growing importance of English in my day-to-day life, overwriting my native language I notice English words slowly disturbing my conversations, reflexes that sneak into my language, creating this mix between French and English…

And finally, that change of identity that begins to merge, I am not pretending to be an impersonator, I can just feel a difference in identity that is highlighted by various factors, my change of name, my change of lifestyle, different friends, another life path and a new image of myself. A new emerging personality.

A new frame with a new character is what this exchange allows me, and I am eternally grateful for it.